Back on The Bike

Yeah, I’m writing about the bike again. I have a feeling it’s going to happen a lot.

You might have already figured out that I love riding. I’ve already explained why.

Today, I had a break between clients. I was in a lousy mood because I have an appointment with my primary care physician tomorrow afternoon. Don’t get me wrong, I think I have the best internist in the world. However, she really hit a bunch of my buttons when we spoke last week.

She used words like “diet”, “food diary”.

If you’ve been following along, I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to get all of that diet junk out of my head. Diets don’t work. Look at the statistics. All diets do is set you up for deprivation and bingeing. I know. That’s how I got here. It’s taken me 6 months to get to the point where I’m craving dark green leafy veggies instead of carbs. Where I’ve willing said, “No More” to gluten. Where I’ve practically given up dairy – except yogurt and kefir. I have given up processed food. The idea of any kind of food doesn’t fill me with any particular emotion. It’s food. It’s good while it lasts. When I’ve had enough it’s time to do something else. This is huge. It’s the result of a ton of work, a ton of self-examination, many hours in therapy, many hours on the yoga mat.

So, I spent the weekend doing what I’ve been doing since I gave up gluten. I ate what I wanted in amounts that satisfied me. Of course, I taught a 2 day Reiki class (and unless you’ve been through the process you have no idea how hungry it makes you). I went to a Chinese Buffet and kept my food clean (seafood and seaweed).

Came to yesterday. Slept a lot. Got new tires put on the car (which didn’t fix the problem), saw my therapist (which didn’t fix my problem either), and skipped meditation class in favor of reading a Jim Butcher novel. Then today.

Slept a lot last night too. Which tends to be the flip side of prolonged insomnia (that was last week). Saw a client and had lunch (Qinoa tabouli with red kidney beans). Had a long break until my next client. I began to catalog the meds that I’m taking and the side effects of each: how many cause weight gain (4), how many cause peripheral edema (3), how many cause increased liver enzymes (3), and how many cause hyPERglycema (2), and one which is actually a supplement, but I”m not sure why I’m even taking it.

I was rapidly dissolving into a crappy mood, when it occurred to me that I needed a mood changer. Today, on the 22nd anniversary of my sobriety, I did not open the refrigerator. Instead, I took off the front wheel of my bike, gently tossed the bike into the car and drove down the hill to the bike path.

I rode for almost 4 hard fought miles.

By the time I was done, I was tired, sweaty and winded. I was also happy. I felt alive and loose. I felt de-stressed. I saw birds, I saw a bunny, I nodded at another cyclist, a runner, a dog walker and a woman with a baby in a stroller.

I chose not to dwell on the memory of when 4 miles was barely a warm-up. When 10 miles was my regular morning ride. I’m not there any more. Maybe I won’t ever get back to the point where I can ride 45 miles and come home and cook lasagna for 6 people. Maybe I will.

Of course the lasagna will be gluten free.



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1 comment to Back on The Bike

  • The bike path looks lovely! We have one nearby (6 or 8 miles away) that was created from old railroad beds and plan to ride it someday soon.

    Sounds like you’re doing very well right now! It takes a lot to realize that other people can’t possibly know everything about what’s right for *us*. One reason I stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings years ago was their tendency to push all kinds of “fake foods” – it’s ok to eat this, and this, and this, as long as it doesn’t exceed your (points or calorie) total, with almost no recognition of organic, natural, or nutritional value along the way. I can’t eat like that.